dives and lazarus

the last time i saw you
i made sure to
keep my dress
on, kept
my distance as
we spoke from
across the room, land
locked and
the air discerning
and smelling
of vomit

" you don't have to be
so caustic
about this "

i am raw, in the
least
and it became winter
in the summer streaked room
we bathed in,
your mattress bare
and sullen
stains of hurt
and nights with other
women,
aging

in wild abandon, i left.

in fear of bearing your surname, i stayed.